Another Awakening

In an ecstasy of madness
I broke my chains
it took many years
before I realized what I had done
A shadow, cast by moonlight, alerted me
to my freedom
I wandered, unfettered, lost
remembering a past self gone
I carried the pain of loss and sorrow deep within
I tried to drown my afflictions
but I could not
so I drank them instead
I dove into the endless sea
and as I stood ashore I found
my feathers unfurled
wings long unused were stretched and flexed
I rose aloft, as I remembered, and flew
between the worlds as I have always done
carrying those things that I am given to deliver
the seeds of things to be
planting them in their proper place and time
and continuing on, through realms of light and dark and in between.
Nothing has changed really, except me.
I am a bit more cautious now, more careful of my effects on those whom I encounter.
I have seen the suffering of careless acts
the senseless destruction of denial and delusion
the betrayal of dishonesty and doubt
and the erosion of foundations by uncertainty
these are not the things I wish to represent
and knowing, I am afraid
but still I am compelled to fly
and to deliver
It is the task that I was given
and so I pray
help me to do no harm

Notice:

This site has become an archive of older posts, mostly poetry written by yours truly. Feel free to browse around and comment. I will still be checking in on occasion to browse a bit myself. Enjoy:)

The Cat of Normalcy

The cat of normalcy
has got my tongue
my vision no longer free to fly
as it once did
my nebulous mind
no longer wandering amongst the stars
my poetic words
no longer flowing freshly from the void
my mind is filled with bills and worries
too mundane to spark my soul
my beautiful religion
carefully crafted
with controlled abandon
my own godhood
gone
perhaps it was all a dream
an immature illusion
a narcissistic fantasy life
designed to mask my imperfections
perhaps it all led nowhere after all
does it matter?

It’s a tough road, but a good one

It’s been a while since I visited this site.
It looks pretty good
I figured I’d better write something while I’m here
I don’t find myself writing much lately
as you can see
I still love words though
I am still driven to speak
that which cannot be spoken
It is my happy curse
I’ve got another blog
you can find it here
I don’t write there much either
maybe once a month lately
but it has java widgets
which I like
and a nifty header
I miss all my fancy wordpress plugins
but it’s probably for the best
I still haven’t made any music videos
and I’m selling my high end mac
so no more garage band to play with
But the vast unspoken mystery
is still pounding at my door
perhaps I’ll let it in
and finally rise to my potential
It’s a tough road
but a good one

Hmmm…

Well, I must say that wordpress.com does NOT do justice to the wonderful WordPress open source CMS platform available at wordpress.org. I’ve just discovered that Javascript is not supported here, which means I can’t have many of my fun widgets on this blog. Frankly, I’m much more impressed with blogger at this point, which makes me rather sad. I am very tempted to leave this blog as an archive of the posts from my old WP site jimspaulding.com, and focus more on working up a nice site at blogspot.com. I’m still playing with it all so we’ll see…

Winter is fast approaching here at 7000ft and my mind is beggining to turn towards artistic pursuits. I still have to go out and hustle up cash to pay my bills, but I can feel my focus moving inward. I have begun to experiment with Garageband on my Mac and am even tempted to do a little painting or sculpting. Again… We’ll see. If I come up with anything that I think might be interesting to anyone else I’ll post it. Maybe I’ll even put a podcast together with music and poetry….Hmmm:)

San Francisco de Asis de Ranchos de Taos

The light fades
and shifts endlessly
bringing to life new forms
constantly changing and shaping the power and meaning
of what is revealed
First light in june speaks of long days of pacing oneself to meet the sunset still standing
September dusk begins to tell of gathering wood and bringing in the harvest from the coming storms

The ice that forms on the beard of old man winter
will tell a whole new tale
He will bring a fresh load of mystery down
from the frozen lands in the north
causing us to turn within ourselves
and squint at the light reflected from his frost
Showing us the world in stark, contrasting form.

I sit and marvel at this edifice of sticks and mud
built by man to withstand the ravages of time and war
and to glorify his god
Given strength with straw
of all things

Every spring a group will form
to tend and caress their history
with fresh mud
and straw
Presided over by the fathers
who add the straw
in solemn, measured handfulls
as if they know
exactly how many strands are needed
and are counting each as it falls
into the box of sand and clay
gathered from a secret place
where the color is just so
It is a point of pride for the parishioners
and a holy communion
between god and mud and man
and straw
I cannot forget the way the light struck that golden straw
and made it seem to glow with it’s own holy light
as it fell from the fathers hand
as if it had come
from the very manger that their savior was born in
imbued with his grace
miracle straw, holding it all together

Now, as winter approaches
the once smooth surface is already worn
by the wind and the rain that fell through the year
Still, the edifice stands
prepared to weather the storms of winter
to hold the warmth of faith
and the candle of hope
safe within its earthen walls
for another year
content in its knowledge
that it is a holy place
and the parishioners will not let it fall.

Still here…

Just a short post to let my readers know that I am still here:) I have been trapped in Facebook games and daily life as of late and have not been writing. I do feel one coming on though….
I raced with the Winter King
carrying the torch of Summer
held high
I gathered in the harvest
from the gardens of the Sun
as the western sky grew red
and the cold breath of Winter began

All the while the cry rang in my head:
The King is dead!

Long live the King!

It's Official!

It’s official! We have formally adopted Gizmo, the lhasa apso, from the neighbor. He’s been staying with us for the past few days and we have all become very attached. I took him down to visit his mom yesterday and she told me that she had to get rid of him as her husband did not want Giz coming back inside in the winter and she realized that she just could not take care of him properly. It was a bittersweet moment.

Here is a shot of Giz and Bee having a puppy hug in the midst of a play session

Here is a shot of Giz and Bee having a puppy hug in the midst of a play session

Tomorrow I drive to Santa Fe

Echoes of the ancients
unravelling amongst the vigas
digging in the ditches dug
300 years ago
my life unfolding before me
bringing itself to my undying attention
showing me where my faults lie
shedding light upon my strength
bringing me closer to that which is myself
in all my incantations and incarnations of being
today I watered my garden
tomorrow I drive to Santa Fe