Footsteps in the Sand

I strive continually
for some sort of balance
always falling one way or the other
I understand that this is the nature of balance
but it seems too far to me
Perhaps I am being too hard on myself
but I do not think so
Perhaps I am simply insane
this is possible
but it does not solve my problem
it only provides me with a convenient excuse
I can almost taste the cure
almost see the vision of my path to a joyful life of meaning
In the silence within me
I can see a light
I know it is that fabled spark that must be stoked
and tended
Within my heart I can feel something struggling to bloom
to grow
the child within that is myself
I know the mysteries of the stars
I have seen the glory of creation
cast in all its dazzling splendor
I have felt the pulse of life within my veins
and understood
And yet, I am lost
The sweet, clear cure turns bitter and ashen
in my mouth
the spark flares and then dies cold
the flower begins to bloom and quickly clamps closed again
the child begins to sing and dance
but stops and curls in to a painful ball
that breaks my heart and steals my joy
How can a man live such a life
and function day to day
in a world that values only the mundane
The mystic is a stranger indeed
Let me play my drum

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I am Still the Sun

Deep crimson twilight
Emerald caverns
filled with visions
drawing me deeper
into the earth

I am afraid
I will be lost
swallowed
in moist, hot darkness

I cannot resist
I know it is calling me
I go into it
I cannot see
Then
just as I am in total darkness
a golden light blinds me
I know not where I am

It is the sun
The call of the dark earth
has brought me
suddenly
into the light
as if passing through a veil
a membrane

The light fades
I see a flash of the surface in the sun above
I am in a great, round cavern
everywhere, the emerald glow

I think about Jules Verne
the earth
my mother
the woman I love
myself
I float into the center
The golden glow surrounds me
infuses me
I am in the sun
I am the sun
I am a sacrifice
I die
I dream
I am exalted
I am a man
again
standing on the surface
in the sun

I remember
my sacrifice
The earth is glad
I am glad
All is right
Balance is restored
I am whole
The earth is satisfied

My thoughts return
to the woman I love
I am still the sun